Emotional Rescue

When I was a pre-teen youth and just beginning to listen to the radio the rock band The Rolling Stones had a song entitled Emotional Rescue.  I don't hear it very often, but it played on my shuffle the other day.  While the lyrics might not exactly fit what I have been experiencing lately, the title surely does.  Many people I care for deeply have told me in their own way their emotions are raw, and many are looking for an emotional rescue.

Over the last few months several of my students have cried on their way into the school building.  Their remarkable parents and I have an agreement that we will always help their sons and daughters be successful.  My staff is super-sensitive, and 99% of the time the little ones stop crying as soon as they enter the school doors.  I always double and triple check on these kids throughout the day, and then I call one of their parents to keep them updated.  The conversations are almost always the same:

Hi.  This is David Ascher at Novi Woods.  I wanted you to know I have checked on your daughter a couple of times in the last hour, and she is doing great.  No tears, and super happy.  Her teacher gave her a big hug, and all seems well.

I just don't understand, Mr. Ascher.  Why is she doing this?  We didn't have this happen in September or October, but now it's March (or February or January) and she says she doesn't want to go to school.  I ask her if someone is picking on her or if she is sad about something, and she can't tell me.

I know.  Sometimes we just don't have words to express our emotions.  Everyone's been through a lot the last several years, and those emotions have a way of coming out when we least expect them.  It's OK.  She's persevering, and she really is doing great today.

I have a theory.  I believe our children are "canaries in the mine" and their emotions are raw.  While I am grateful many of our activities seem to be "normalizing" across our communities, sometimes even I am speechless for what we have experienced due to the worldwide pandemic.  Our young children don't have words to fully express their feelings, and the tears are just a way of helping them cope. 

I've even had several staff cry in my office lately.  Granted, my colleagues have words to express their feelings, but they report to me that they are struggling or "can't catch a break" with some of the simplest stressors of life.  We listen to each other.  We laugh.  We cry.  We check on each other.  We give each other grace.  We keep moving.  My theory still stands.  Our emotions and those tears are helping us cope.

And then it happened to me.

Last week two beloved retirees from our building stopped to drop-off goodie bags for the entire staff.  Several retirees across our district meet for a monthly book study and service project.  Many of these retirees are my former colleagues.  They looked out for me when I was a new teacher or administrator.  Now, I'm one the of "old guys" around the district, and these retirees are still looking out for me and my colleagues.  I knew these teachers were coming, but when I saw them in the office I gave them each huge hugs.  I couldn't let go, and I found tears welling up inside of me.  As I attempted to compose myself, I understood what my staff and students have been experiencing.

We've focused so much on "holding things together" through experiences we never could have imagined that we literally had to lock-up our emotions to keep moving.  Now, any glimmer of hope seems to give those emotions free reign to come out.  Those tears---Those emotions are helping us cope.

It's ok to cry.  Let's continue to support each other as we help everyone cope with the many transitions we are facing.  I believe these emotional rescues are just what we need.