Loving relationships make a difference

He ran to her and hugged her.  It was really more of a long, lasting embrace, and then he whispered to her, "How are you feeling?"

While still embracing she told him, "I'm doing better.  I love you."

"I love you, too!" he proclaimed.

There wasn't a dry eye in the room as the hug continued.

This may seem like a scene from a movie, but it's just one example of how our students are remarkably supported in our school.  Let me explain.

Our district is fortunate to partner with our local youth assistance.  Youth Assistance is a proactive, service organization working to support young people in our community.  They meet this mission in many ways, but I am most familiar with their Silver Lining Mentor program.  

Youth Assistance recruits and trains seniors citizens to work with young people, and then they collaborate with our school to find students who may need a little extra love and attention.  Staff identifies students who could benefit from this type of care, and then gets parent permission for the student to participate.  The mentors come once a week for about 30-45 minutes and spend time with students playing games, listening, talking, and encouraging.  What I believe is most-special about the program is the mentors stay with the student from grade to grade.  Some of our students have had the same mentor for 3-4 years!

One could argue that all students need a Silver Lining Mentor at school.  While I suppose that's a hope, it's probably also not practical, and many students already have that sort of support from their own grandparents or other extended family members.  We have about 5 students with Silver Lining Mentors currently, but that number fluctuates from year to year.  The program, as you can imagine, creates powerful relationships that make a difference for the participating students and their mentors.

The entire illustration above is even more special.  In order to tell that story and protect names, I will call the student David (my name) and the mentor Frances (my grandmother's name).

As I was walking down the hall, I noticed David, and he told me, "Mr. Ascher, will you please tell Ms. Frances that Friday is my birthday?"

Frances has mentored David for three years, and their bond is very special.  He looks forward to her visit each week, and I know she looks forward to visiting.  Unfortunately, Frances had to have serious surgery on her back, and she has been unable to see David for a couple of weeks.  It has taken something major like back surgery to keep Frances away from mentoring David.

I told David that I would definitely contact Frances for him, and that he may want to make a card for her because of her surgery..  I could mail the card him.  David told me he had already started a card.

David's teacher and our school secretary reached out to Frances, and she told us she was going to try her best to surprise David and visit him on his birthday.  

Three days later and on David's birthday, Frances arrived just as she said.  It was only her second day out of the house since the surgery, and it was clear she was still in a lot of pain.  Our secretary went to get David, and the rest of us in the office waited in anticipation.  I mentioned to another student and his mother that they may want to wait for just a moment to leave early in order to see what was going to happen.  Frances hid over to the side.

David came to the office with his teacher and our secretary, and then...

He ran to Frances and hugged her.  (The other adults were all chiming at once to be careful because of Frances's surgery.)  It was really more of a long, lasting embrace, and then David whispered to Frances, "How are you feeling?"

While still embracing she told him, "I'm doing better.  I love you."

"I love you, too!" he proclaimed.

There wasn't a dry eye in the room as the hug continued.

I am grateful for each of our Silver Lining Mentors and the many people who volunteer their time to help students in our school--formal and informal.  The work they do is not always so dramatic as what we observed with David and Frances, and perhaps we can't always measure their impact-at least in student achievement or other statistical measures.  I am convinced, however, that building more strong relationships, encouraging, listening, and...loving our students is just as important.