Friday, February 9, 2018

A Love Story

Let me tell you a love story.

It's not a love story about adults.  It's not a "puppy" love story or even a "first" love story.  Actually, this isn't a love story at all.  It's more of a story about love - the love a first grade boy has for his teacher and how that love can change a life--actually many lives.

This boy is like many other boys his age.  He likes to play games and run.  He likes to be with his friends, and he likes to be independent.  He likes to listen to music, and he enjoys building things.   He likes robots, and he likes to be funny.  He has favorite foods, but he also knows what he does not like to eat.  He doesn't like to hear loud noises, but he likes to make loud noises.  Yes, this boy is like many, many first grade boys.

This boy is like most first grade boys in other ways too.  He has a mother and a father and an entire family who love him very much.  He is a good reader, and he has a very good memory for things he likes to remember.  He is good at math, and he is working to be a better writer.  He likes to get his own way, and he really likes to know what is going to happen in his day and his week before it happens.

Yes, this boy is like most boys in many ways, but he is different too.

This boy, after a full day of school, goes to therapy five days a week for two hours.  This boy, you see, has autism, and the therapy helps him develop strategies to better cope in a world that only sees him as different.  This therapy helps him learn to better control his behavior so he can be more like other students.

This boy is different from other first grade students in more ways too.  This boy knows the flag and capital for every - yes every - state and country in the world.  This boy has a remarkable sense of what is called "theory of mind" which means he thinks you think what he thinks.  You will want to reread this last sentence, but you could say this boy struggles--really struggles--to empathize with others.  And yet, he does empathize.  This boy has discovered something that we want all students to know.  This boy has learned that his teacher loves him.

Of course, it's not a romantic love, but it is more than just respect or caring.  This teacher sees this student as special, but she also sees him as she sees all of her students.  She expects him to be safe, to help others, and to never give up.  Most of all she expects this student--as she does all students--to learn.  And he does.

But like all first graders, he has some tough days.

Some days are  tough because he doesn't feel well.  Some days are tough because he did not sleep well.  Some days are tough because he doesn't like what he has to eat or what he must do.  Some days are tough because he gets so excited that he can't calm down right away.  Like all of us, some days are just tough.

One day this boy was so frustrated that he couldn't calm down without help, and this teacher helped him-of course.  She would do this for every student-for every person.  But this boy is different.  He thinks you think what he thinks which means he couldn't easily calm down and he got even more frustrated when this teacher wasn't frustrated too.  She was, of course, calm and caring which is the right way to respond to this student, but he was still frustrated.  He was so frustrated that in his frustration he hurt his teacher.

Oh he didn't mean to hurt his teacher.  He didn't hit or kick or bite or throw something at her.  But, in trying to calm his own body, this boy did hurt his teacher.  It was not on purpose, but it was one of those hurts that is more shocking than hurtful at first.  She knew she needed to go to the doctor.

She went to the doctor, and she learned she was going to need to see other doctors to help fix what had happened.  She learned she would be OK, but it was going to take several appointments and weeks to fix everything.  She also reflected that perhaps she should have consoled this student in a different way.  She thought that she could have done something different to better help this student?

When this student's parents learned what had happened, they were apolgetic and offered to help as much as they possibly could.  They were very concerned for the teacher and only wanted the best for her.  In fact they offered to go above and beyond to help her.

What makes this story so poignant is that this teacher still loves to teach.  She wants to help students.  Helping students is a part of her.  She doesn't hold a grudge and is not mad at this student. She understands in her heart that if a flower is not growing, you don't give up or just pull the flower from the garden.  Sometimes you must build a better garden for that flower.  Sometimes the gardener must work even harder to try new ideas and strategies to help each flower in her garden grow.  Most times every flower needs a little something special.  This teacher knows that she must teach the students she has right now and not the students she used to have or the students she has read about in books.  Like her colleagues, she seeks-out new learning to apply new strategies to help the many new and unique students she wants to help.  She exemplifies what a professional is, and she inspires others with her growth-mindset towards teaching and learning.

Now this is not just a story about a student and a teacher.  There are supports, of course, for this teacher and this student.  This teacher works in a school with an entire staff full of amazing teachers and staff who care and support her and each other every day.  This student goes to school in a school and district that allocates significant professional learning and resources for all students to have the absolute best education possible.  This student attends a school full of remarkable students who work together to grow and learn.  This student and teacher are in a school with a parent community that understands ALL really does mean ALL and that each student is special.

What makes this story a love story?

The day after the accident happened, the boy made a sign that said, "I love you."  The teacher was so touched that she hung-up the sign and told her principal about it.  The sign in itself is special and endearing, and it could be the end of this story.



But what really makes this story a love story?

A few days after the boy brought the sign he had made to apologize to his teacher, his morning work had a sentence starter that needed to be completed.

Morning work is pretty common in schools.  It gives the students an opportunity to independently demonstrate basic skills on a worksheet as soon as they enter the classroom so the teacher can facilitate attendance, lunch count, and get the day started.  It's not supposed to be hard.  It's supposed to be practice--unless you are different.

And as much as this little boy is like other boys.  He is different--very different.

The sentence starter on this day was, "Write a sentence about your teacher."

How did this boy respond?  How did this boy who is so like other boys but is so, so different at the same time?

This boy wrote, "She loves me."


Happy Valentine's Day.




1 Comments:

At February 14, 2018 at 8:07 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Beautiful!

 

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