Dear Criminal
Dear Criminal,
I don't believe I know you but as I write this, it's been less than 12 hours since you tried to break into my home. While I am grateful neither my wife, two teen-aged daughters, nor I were home, I'm even more grateful you were unable to get beyond our garage and were apparently scared away because of our alarm system. You did not take anything physical, and the damage to our doors that you kicked-in can be repaired. Still, you did take something that in my restless sleep last night I realized is even more precious than anything my family or I have or own.
Twenty years ago my wife and I built our house. We contracted with professionals to design and build a house where we could raise a family and welcome friends. We've hosted birthday parties, church gatherings, prayer groups, school get-togethers, team celebrations, and even Daisy troop meetings when our girls were young. Our home is where we want our children and our children's friends to feel comfortable to grow and to support each other. And now, that all seems damaged.
Just this morning our daughters commented to me that they did not want to be home alone. Can you blame them? This home is all they've known. It's the foundation of the security of our family. In our country and even world, I am hopeful that "home" is always tied to safety and security. We cheer-on the "home" team. We look forward to coming "home" after a long trip. People in hospitals just want to get "home." And while I love to travel and try new things, it always feels good to worship in our "home" church. How we view our "home" has been hurt by you, and that makes me angry.
What has happened in your life that you feel empowered to disrupt and violate our lives? Do you know that your actions impact more than just our home? Our neighbors and loved-ones--our colleagues and our friends are all aware of what you did to us and are now questioning the safety of their own "homes." Today, I'm staying home from work to fix our house, and my colleagues, students, and parents in my school are doing extra work because I am not able to be present. Because of you, I am unable to keep my commitments to them.
At the very core, you took away the trust for humankind that my wife and I have built together from our own families and instilled in our daughters. To you this might seem like a small thing, but I am worried. I am worried about our community, our state, our country, and even our world. How can we solve the problems of the 21st century without the trust of each and every individual?
Right now--at this very minute--I am actually more worried for you than for me. Through faith, love, and friendship, I am confident my family will be OK. We have the support of so many people. We know how to face adversity and to persevere together. I am worried that you will do this again or that you will not seek appropriate help from our local agencies or churches who really do want to help. I am worried that you do not care or understand how basic trust for each other is at the crux of our civilization. Regardless of your situation, you do not have the right to take that trust away. Seek help. Get help. Don't wait for someone else to fix your problems. You are in charge of you. Even my kindergarten students in my school know and understand this. These basic rules are what we actively teach, and they are more important than any score on a test or grade point average on a report card.
I will forgive you...I promise...But not yet. Right now I have doors to fix and an insurance claim to file. I have a home that needs to be repaired, and a family that needs to feel safe again.
Sincerely,
David Ascher
I don't believe I know you but as I write this, it's been less than 12 hours since you tried to break into my home. While I am grateful neither my wife, two teen-aged daughters, nor I were home, I'm even more grateful you were unable to get beyond our garage and were apparently scared away because of our alarm system. You did not take anything physical, and the damage to our doors that you kicked-in can be repaired. Still, you did take something that in my restless sleep last night I realized is even more precious than anything my family or I have or own.
Twenty years ago my wife and I built our house. We contracted with professionals to design and build a house where we could raise a family and welcome friends. We've hosted birthday parties, church gatherings, prayer groups, school get-togethers, team celebrations, and even Daisy troop meetings when our girls were young. Our home is where we want our children and our children's friends to feel comfortable to grow and to support each other. And now, that all seems damaged.
Just this morning our daughters commented to me that they did not want to be home alone. Can you blame them? This home is all they've known. It's the foundation of the security of our family. In our country and even world, I am hopeful that "home" is always tied to safety and security. We cheer-on the "home" team. We look forward to coming "home" after a long trip. People in hospitals just want to get "home." And while I love to travel and try new things, it always feels good to worship in our "home" church. How we view our "home" has been hurt by you, and that makes me angry.
What has happened in your life that you feel empowered to disrupt and violate our lives? Do you know that your actions impact more than just our home? Our neighbors and loved-ones--our colleagues and our friends are all aware of what you did to us and are now questioning the safety of their own "homes." Today, I'm staying home from work to fix our house, and my colleagues, students, and parents in my school are doing extra work because I am not able to be present. Because of you, I am unable to keep my commitments to them.
At the very core, you took away the trust for humankind that my wife and I have built together from our own families and instilled in our daughters. To you this might seem like a small thing, but I am worried. I am worried about our community, our state, our country, and even our world. How can we solve the problems of the 21st century without the trust of each and every individual?
Right now--at this very minute--I am actually more worried for you than for me. Through faith, love, and friendship, I am confident my family will be OK. We have the support of so many people. We know how to face adversity and to persevere together. I am worried that you will do this again or that you will not seek appropriate help from our local agencies or churches who really do want to help. I am worried that you do not care or understand how basic trust for each other is at the crux of our civilization. Regardless of your situation, you do not have the right to take that trust away. Seek help. Get help. Don't wait for someone else to fix your problems. You are in charge of you. Even my kindergarten students in my school know and understand this. These basic rules are what we actively teach, and they are more important than any score on a test or grade point average on a report card.
I will forgive you...I promise...But not yet. Right now I have doors to fix and an insurance claim to file. I have a home that needs to be repaired, and a family that needs to feel safe again.
Sincerely,
David Ascher
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