I Want to Hold Your Hand
"Daddy, will you hold my hand?"
No words could have meant more to me last week as our two, pre-teen daughters and I were SCUBA diving during our Spring Break. Both girls and I were making their first "night" dive. We were part of a larger group, but the basic plan was to explore the rocks, corals, and wildlife between 35 and 60 feet underwater for the next 45-50 minutes...in the dark...with flashlights. Night diving is exciting because many of the fish and other creatures under the sea are nocturnal. You get to see everything in a different light...literally. The entire experience, however, can be a bit unnerving if you're not prepared and completely comfortable with your training, gear, and plan. Our youngest was clearly a little uncomfortable when she reached out to me with her hand.
To be sure, I wasn't jeopardizing her safety. She was ecstatic to be able to do a night dive, and I knew she had the skills to enjoy everything and be successful. She was just a little nervous. What caught me so off-guard was she still wanted to hold my hand. Pre-teen kids are in that awkward age when they want so desperately to be "grown-up," but they still need your reassurances, comfort, and guidance. On the inside I was thrilled she wanted to hold my hand, so I reached out and smiled at her. We started our dive with great anticipation for what we would see.
This got me thinking about our students at school. We ask kids each day to take risks at school. We ask them to try new strategies, to reflect on their progress, to push and challenege themselves to reach farther than they ever though possible. As educators, this is our job! Fortunately, I work with teachers who plan scaffolded lessons where each step forward builds on the previous lesson. I work with teachers who are genersous with praise for kids who demonstrate consistent effort. I work with teachers who understand it's not only OK but crucial to reteach difficult concepts until we are positive our children can be successful. While we might not always be "holding" our students' hands, we are ensuring kids can track their personal progress towards specific and clear learning goals.
So Moms and Dads, I encourage you to "hold" your kids' hands. There's no reason to be a "helicopter" parent, but it is OK to say, "Hey, it looks like you're struggling with that math work. Why don't you pick the two hardest problems, and I will do them with you." (Notice, it takes a lot of math knowledge to pick out the two "hardest" problems.) It's OK to say, "Sometimes I need to take a break before I tackle hard problems. Do you want to shoot a few baskets or just go for a walk?" It's OK and actually very important to model for your student that you love to learn. Get out a journal, and write. Be sure you're always reading a good book. Be sure to talk out loud when you're baking or doing some home projects so your kids can hear how you solve problems. In short, make learning fun and intentional. You will be amazed at the results.
Our dive, by the way, was stupendous! In addition to beautiful coral and fish, we saw an eel, an octopus, and several lobsters. There were no problems, and we held hands for the entire trip. As soon as we surfaced, however, our daughter quickly returned to "normal" and insisted she could do this by herself during her next night dive. And I suppose for that I am grateful... I'll just look forward to the next time she wants to hold my hand!
No words could have meant more to me last week as our two, pre-teen daughters and I were SCUBA diving during our Spring Break. Both girls and I were making their first "night" dive. We were part of a larger group, but the basic plan was to explore the rocks, corals, and wildlife between 35 and 60 feet underwater for the next 45-50 minutes...in the dark...with flashlights. Night diving is exciting because many of the fish and other creatures under the sea are nocturnal. You get to see everything in a different light...literally. The entire experience, however, can be a bit unnerving if you're not prepared and completely comfortable with your training, gear, and plan. Our youngest was clearly a little uncomfortable when she reached out to me with her hand.
To be sure, I wasn't jeopardizing her safety. She was ecstatic to be able to do a night dive, and I knew she had the skills to enjoy everything and be successful. She was just a little nervous. What caught me so off-guard was she still wanted to hold my hand. Pre-teen kids are in that awkward age when they want so desperately to be "grown-up," but they still need your reassurances, comfort, and guidance. On the inside I was thrilled she wanted to hold my hand, so I reached out and smiled at her. We started our dive with great anticipation for what we would see.
This got me thinking about our students at school. We ask kids each day to take risks at school. We ask them to try new strategies, to reflect on their progress, to push and challenege themselves to reach farther than they ever though possible. As educators, this is our job! Fortunately, I work with teachers who plan scaffolded lessons where each step forward builds on the previous lesson. I work with teachers who are genersous with praise for kids who demonstrate consistent effort. I work with teachers who understand it's not only OK but crucial to reteach difficult concepts until we are positive our children can be successful. While we might not always be "holding" our students' hands, we are ensuring kids can track their personal progress towards specific and clear learning goals.
So Moms and Dads, I encourage you to "hold" your kids' hands. There's no reason to be a "helicopter" parent, but it is OK to say, "Hey, it looks like you're struggling with that math work. Why don't you pick the two hardest problems, and I will do them with you." (Notice, it takes a lot of math knowledge to pick out the two "hardest" problems.) It's OK to say, "Sometimes I need to take a break before I tackle hard problems. Do you want to shoot a few baskets or just go for a walk?" It's OK and actually very important to model for your student that you love to learn. Get out a journal, and write. Be sure you're always reading a good book. Be sure to talk out loud when you're baking or doing some home projects so your kids can hear how you solve problems. In short, make learning fun and intentional. You will be amazed at the results.
Our dive, by the way, was stupendous! In addition to beautiful coral and fish, we saw an eel, an octopus, and several lobsters. There were no problems, and we held hands for the entire trip. As soon as we surfaced, however, our daughter quickly returned to "normal" and insisted she could do this by herself during her next night dive. And I suppose for that I am grateful... I'll just look forward to the next time she wants to hold my hand!
Comments
Post a Comment