An Immortal Team?

Are you immortal?

Of course we know the answer.  Nobody is immortal.

Whether good or bad, we tend to think of ourselves as super-human or even irreplaceable.  I am 100% guilty of feeling like I am the only one who can do my job or the only person who can make sure our building runs smoothly or facilitate solving problems.  My favorite place to be in our district is at Novi Woods.  I am often required to be at workshops or meeetings away from the building, but I feel most satisfied when I am at Novi Woods working directly with our staff, parents, and students.    Life, however, has other plans--occassionally.

I didn't know what back spasms were until I first experienced one in the summer of 2013.  I learned that a back spasm can make you laugh and cry at the same time.  I learned what it means to look at your wife and say, "Just push me over a cliff so this can all be over."  I learned that sometimes your body is in charge of you so much that you can't walk, stand, or sit without being in extreme pain to the point that not even strong medications from your emergency room visit seem to help.  Fortunately, this happened in the summer, and I was able to heal without it impacting my work.  (I did get a brief reprieve from vacuuming and mowing the lawn at home!)

My back spasm returned with a vengeance last weekend.  Oh I wish I could say I had hurt my back by lifting something heavy or by wrestling with a wild animal to protect my family.  I'm embarrased to say it happened when I bent over our garden cart to remove a piece of plastic.  Yes, a piece of plastic sent me to the ER and has kept me away from work.

The doctor said this would take several days to get back to a manageable level.  Begrudgingly I gave it a day and stayed home from work.  After some reflection, I believe I have only ever missed about 4 days of school in over 20 years for any medical reason for either myself or my family.  After all, I'm immortal!

My staff was amazing.  I sent them an email Monday morning, and everyone was supportive and understanding.  They reminded me to listen to my wife, the doctor, and my body.

My wife suggested I stay home one more day.  I, of course, said I was fine and went to work on Tuesday.  I had some ibuprofen which allowed me take the edge off the pain and to drive safely (The other meds did not allow me to drive.).  While I moved in slow motion, Tuesday was a busy and long day.

And then Wednesday came.

Wow.  By 5:45 AM I knew I was in trouble.  But--there was absolutely no way I could miss work.  We had a school improvement team meeting scheduled.  I had car duty and morning announcement responsibilities.  Our noon aides were meeting for lunch to make plans for the rest of the year and for next year.  I had several students who needed my assistance.  I had an observation to complete, and I was hosting a meeting for kindergarten parents.  Throw in some much-needed data analysis and a couple of reports, there was no way I could not be at work.  After all, I'm immortal.  All I had to do was get dressed and in my car.  It would be fine.

But...When your wife needs to put your socks on you, your immortality comes into question, and you begin to think clearly.  The  pain shook me to decide to stay horizontal, on the strong meds, and in bed for the day.

My next thoughts were about how to make sure Woods would be OK.

Step 1.) Contact your boss.  I am blessed.  I mean--BLESSED that I can call my superintendent at any time of the day or night for help.  Within minutes and by 6:30 he rearranged  his schedule to do my car duty, morning announcements, and to host the kindergarten parent meeting with another staff member.

Step 2.) Alert your secretaries  Mrs. Rodriguez and Mrs. Marson, our school secretaries, are amazing.  We call and text each other almost each morning at 6 to make sure the day will go smoothly.  Without missing a beat, Mrs. Rodriguez proclaimed that I shouldn't worry about a thing.  She and Mrs. Marson would handle everything.  (And they do on a regular basis.)

Step 3.) Share with trusted colleagues.  The administrators in Novi are more a team than ever in our history.  One simple email, and two of my closest friends and fellow principals knew they are "on call" for any emergencies that may arise at Woods.

Step 4.)  Reach out to staff.  I called a member of our improvement team, and she agreed to include me on speaker phone for the improvement team meeting.  I also emailed the entire staff.  The improvement team met, and we covered everything and more on our agenda.  Staff reminded me to listen to my wife and to not worry.  They are so understanding and supportive.

Do I worry?  Yes.  I like to be at work.  I've been told I make a difference, and my students depend on our team to be as effective as possible.

Which, I suppose, is the point.

I'm not immortal, but the team at Novi Woods is stronger than any one person.  It needs to be, and surely it is stronger than the principal.  Perhaps the most important action a principal can take is to build the best possible team for the school and students?  The team at Novi Woods is stellar, and I have no doubt today will be a great day at Novi Woods because our students, staff, parents, and community are a team.  Like we say, "It takes teamwork to make the dream work!"

Now about tomorrow...my back had better cooperate!

Thanks, Moms

What do you say when you don't know what else to say?

Perhaps that's why I have never written about the so many mothers who have directly impacted my life?  I just don't know what to say.  I am blessed beyond belief, and I know it.  The words just never sound right.  In fact, I always feel a little boastful when I put on paper the moms in my life because I know many of my students do not have this in their lives.  My hope is that in sharing my story I may inspire someone to reach out and be a mother for someone who needs it or to be a better mother than they thought possible.

Both of my grandmothers are alive and doing well in assisted living.  They have always been integral parts of my life, and I was grateful to grow up living and being close to them.  As their oldest grandson, I always felt like I was the favorite, but I know there isn't really a favorite grandchild.  Despite raising large families of their own, I was spoiled by them, and I now go out of my way to spoil them as much as possible--even though I now live 7 hours away from them.

My mother in-law lives less than 5 minutes away from us.  Who knew that anyone could ever take you in and become another mother in your life?  For more than 20 years, Sandy has been a friend, a trusted confidante, a supporter, and a faithful inspiration through life's many ups and downs.  She is always on the look-out for the underdog, and I jokingly say she is the most valuable player on "Team Ascher" as my wife and I work to raise our daughters.  "We" would not be "us" without her.

Mom.  It's such a simple word, but my mother is nothing but simple.  She and Dad spent careers raising my sister and me, and then she worked even harder in the telecommunications field doing jobs in technology that were not even created when she first started working.  Nothing is ever impossible for my mother.  Need to mow more than an acre of grass each week without a riding mower?  My mom did it.  Need to feed a hungry family on a tight, tight budget?  We never went hungry, and we always felt like we ate like royalty.  (Who knew that meatloaf wasn't gourmet?)  Need to do a busy family's laundry without having a washer at home?  My mom did that for years!  Need to have wonderful birthdays and holidays where there was always room for one more person to join us?  Absolutely, Mom did this.  She did all of this and more even before she was 30!  (The next 30+ years require their own blog entry.)  My mother is an amazing listener, and she never passes judgement or thinks less of people because of their struggles.  What a wonderful gift she has tried to give me.

While not officially one of my "moms," my wife is perhaps the most important mother to me.  She is mother to the two most precious blessings in our life--our daughters.  She loves me despite my many quirks and faults, and she has helped turn two little girls into self-confident, independent young women.  Kim is forgiving and relentless at the same time.  She always goes at 110% until she comes to a halting stop and sinks into deep relaxation mode.  She has a wonderful ability to leave her work at work and to completely focus on what is at hand at that time.  She is able to plan ahead and resolve all possible hurdles before they become hurdles.  Most of all, her faith is pragmatic but filled with fire.  Simply put, she is my best friend, and she makes me a better person than I really am.  I am not complete without her, and I love her more than she probably really knows.

Are each of these women the same?  Absolutely not.  Are there more women in my life who have been like mothers?  Yes--many.  Are any of these women perfect?  For sure, no.  Perhaps that is why I love them all so much?  Maybe the fact that each of them has overcome trials and tribulations is why I love them?  Even more, none of them ever puts themselves first.  They have always put others before themselves.

As we get ready to spend a weekend celebrating Mother's Day, I encourage you to reach out and thank the women who have been mothers to you.  If you don't have any women in your life who inspire you, please contact me.  I know at least 5 women who would love to help you!

Happy Mother's Day, Grandma Ascher, Grandma Mac, Sandy, Mom, and Kim.  I love you.