Thursday, June 18, 2015

Sometimes--Going Faster is Right

Regular readers of this blog would not be surprised to hear me say, "Parents are the very first teachers kids have."  As the parents of two teenagers, my wife and I are faced with this statement on a regular basis.  Now, we have entered new territory--driving.

Our eldest, Jennifer, is taking driver's education classes and practicing driving behind the wheel.  I can't help but reflect on what I have taught her since she was an infant.  You probably do the same as your children grow and mature.   Remember crawling and walking?  What about teaching how to play  "hide and seek" or "peek-a-boo?"  Our kids learned how to use fingers to feed themselves, and then we helped them graduate to spoons and forks.  I remember teaching how to tie shoes, work a zipper, and button a jacket.  Brushing and flossing teeth were challenging, but we always made that fun.  Of course, I taught our girls how to ride a bike, throw and catch a ball, and how to eat a coney dog.  The list is endless, isn't it?

Nothing, however, prepared me for teaching Jennifer how to drive.  We've done the simple things like mowing the lawn with our garden tractor.  We've "driven" in our small neighborhood.  Now, we are faced with full-blown-hands on the wheel, knuckles turning white-driving on expressways.  Yes, expressways.  Let me explain.

Jennifer has a healthy dose of nervouseness and excitement about driving--which is just fine with me.  Since she does not like to be nervous, we practice--a lot.  Last weekend she asked to practice entrance ramps on expressways.  She explained to me that in her course she had "stopped" at the end of the entrance ramp--clearly she needed practice.  We got in the car and made our way through town to the closest highway, and I heard myself say, "Jennifer, you need to go faster.  I know the speed limit is 70 miles per hour, but everyone else is going 75."

In that moment, time stood still for me.  It seemed like this was the first time I ever said that she needed to go faster in order to learn something (except if you count how to eat an ice cream cone).  Telling our kids to go faster seems counterintuitive to what we normally teach--especially when you're faced with merging onto a highway.  But, if she doesn't learn to go faster, she could injure herself or others.  My father told me when I was learning how to drive, "David, there are two pedals in this car.  One makes it go fast, and the other makes it go slow.  Knowing when to use which pedal is called driving.  Now, let's drive."

As parents and teachers we have an obligation to help our children learn new skills and concepts.  In life, knowing when to speed up and when to slow down is called wisdom.  That, of course, takes time and experience.  I'm sure Jennifer will do well--with more practice.

Finally, to all of the fathers and all of the men who serve as fathers, Happy Father's Day.  I would not be the man I am today without my dad.  Dad, I love you.  Thank you for the wisdom, love, and guidance.