Friday, December 12, 2014

Mandatory Parent Meeting

Do you have certain "roles" in your home?  Let me explain.

In our house I'm in charge of grilling, but my wife does the baking.  I keep the bathrooms clean, but my wife does the dusting.  The vegetable gardens are mine, but the flower gardens belong to her.  We do, of course, share many projects, but I've learned over the years that many families run like this.  We have another role that has been very successful since we've been parents:  Whenever something says, "Mandatory Parent Meeting," my wife attends.

As much as I love our daughters and as involved as I am at my own school, I'm not super-involved with "mandatory" parent events for our girls.

This changed last week.

Our daughters are involved in their schools' robotics teams.  Little did I know how big of a deal these high school extra-curricular activities are.  (Learn more here.)  Significant financial resources need to be raised, but the students learn many, many valuable skills.  We received a note from the school about a "mandatory" parent meeting.  The note was quickly shuffled to my wife's calendar, and I thought we were set.  That morning, however, Kim shared she had a work commitment that was going to go later into the evening.  The conversation went something like this:

"Kim, It's not a problem.  I can go to the parent meeting.  It's probably just about completing permission slips and getting a schedule."

"You're right, but there's also a Booster meeting after the parent meeting."

"That's OK.  I can go to the Booster meeting too.  It will be fun.  What does the Booster group do, and how can we help?"

"Jennifer's a 9th grader, and we're new to this.  I don't fully know what the Booster group does.  I'd guess they raise money and support the students with food, travel, and volunteers."

"Great.  What can we do?"

"Well-don't commit to anything yet, but you can probably sign-up for cookies.  I will get caught up later to make sure we're helping."

I was right.  The parent meeting was about permission slips.  I completed the forms and submitted them.  I was feeling proud of myself for helping Kim (and our daughter) at a "mandatory" parent meeting as I headed to the Booster meeting.

Let me pause this story just a bit to applaud all parents who support students.  My school and school district is a remarkable place to be.  Our PTOs and booster groups do so, so much to help kids.  I have seen over and over again that our most successful students have families who are connected to their child's school in at least some small way.  Usually, however, I see more moms than dads being that connector.  My family is the same way.  And while I'm not trying to be critical of all of us fathers out there, I do think about what we could do if our dads were as actively involved as our moms.  I get it.  Life is a balance, and "connecting" to school does not always mean serving as official boosters or attending parent meetings.  All parents have an obligation to model a love of learning or to read a good book with our children.  All parents should find joy in working through a little homework or listening to a child be excited about a school project.  All parents can probably do something more to help our children be successful.  I know I can, but I don't always take the opportunity to be "that" parent.

As we look at closing 2014 and starting 2015, I encourage all parents--especially us dads--to take a more active role in supporting our children and students.  It can be through boosters or PTOs.  be a coach.  Try being a mentor.  Volunteer at school.  It can be through little or even small projects.  It can even be in the simplest of ways, but I know it makes a difference.

As for me---I'm the new president of the robotics parent booster group!  (Fortunately, I have a great vice-president---my wife!)  Happy New Year!  The best is yet to come.